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This Is A Lie
Heaven only knows
Created on 2007-01-05 00:02:22 (#11965480), last updated 2009-01-24
1,105 comments received, 2,136 comments posted
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328 Journal Entries, 182 Tags, 0 Memories, <10 ScrapBook Files, 0 Virtual Gifts, 8 Userpics
Basic Info| Name: | This is a lie |
|---|---|
| Birthdate: | 1988-02-24 |
| Location: | Wbank In the hood Cuz all the white suburbians know what its like to be gansta, BC, Canada |
BioTo tell everyone the truth I had to hit the lowest lows before I could ever reach this point. But I hit an emotional rock bottom that I refuse to reach again. It's only up from here baby.
I have been going to BPD classes, I have been going to therapy and more than that I have been busting my ass every day to get better. I learned some things along the way.
I found out that those with BPD will go to desperate measures to be considered "normal". I have decided to quit living for anyone's standards of normal and be me. To stop trying to please everyone and to start living a life I feel good about.
I have searched for happiness my whole life. I thought the straight As, being popular, the perfect boyfriend, a new condo would bring me happiness. I have learned happiness is not what you have. It cannot be obtained. It's inside of you. It's a frame of mind. It can be accessed at any time with only desire and determination as your guide.
I guess what I'm saying is there has been some realizations, there has been some soul searching. I am no longer the person who sits and whines and complains as I have been most of my life. I am a beautiful, loveable, person.
I want to work on things that allow me to be creative, I want to breed my dog when I have learned enough and we are ready. I want to make changes that will lead me to the life I want to live and this time there is no stopping me.
I know I am going to have sad days, I know I am going to have mad days. I know I am going to have days where I feel hopeless but those are just moments, just days, just part of a bigger picture. The bigger picture being my life, being me.
This journal will no longer be a long list of complaints and will become a place to record my progress, thoughts, and me.
I'm not crazy
I'm not crazy
I'm not crazy
I'm not crazy doc not all the time
I have been going to BPD classes, I have been going to therapy and more than that I have been busting my ass every day to get better. I learned some things along the way.
I found out that those with BPD will go to desperate measures to be considered "normal". I have decided to quit living for anyone's standards of normal and be me. To stop trying to please everyone and to start living a life I feel good about.
I have searched for happiness my whole life. I thought the straight As, being popular, the perfect boyfriend, a new condo would bring me happiness. I have learned happiness is not what you have. It cannot be obtained. It's inside of you. It's a frame of mind. It can be accessed at any time with only desire and determination as your guide.
I guess what I'm saying is there has been some realizations, there has been some soul searching. I am no longer the person who sits and whines and complains as I have been most of my life. I am a beautiful, loveable, person.
I want to work on things that allow me to be creative, I want to breed my dog when I have learned enough and we are ready. I want to make changes that will lead me to the life I want to live and this time there is no stopping me.
I know I am going to have sad days, I know I am going to have mad days. I know I am going to have days where I feel hopeless but those are just moments, just days, just part of a bigger picture. The bigger picture being my life, being me.
This journal will no longer be a long list of complaints and will become a place to record my progress, thoughts, and me.
I'm not crazy
I'm not crazy
I'm not crazy
I'm not crazy doc not all the time
ConnectInterests (60):
420, aaron, acid, alcohol, alice in wonderland, b+w photography, benzos, black, body art, borderline personality disorder, bpd, candy necklaces, carson's mom, cigarettes, dj sets, dragons, drugs, electronic music, garbage, getting fucked up, guilty pleasures, hallucinations, hippies, iming, individualism, invader zim, johnny depp, kitties, labyrinth, ladytron, letters, lyrics, making out, memories, music, night, non conformist, opiates, passion, piercings, pills, pleasure, plur, psychological movies, puppies, raves, reading, requiem for a dream, retro, road trips, scrapbooks, sex, soul mates, staying in bed, tattoos, the wall, tim burton, unconditional love, unicorns, wild at heart
Friends [View Entries] Friends (26):
aaronp, annonplease, bnumb, childinthegrave, godloveher, hana_broom, hascats67, heartsexploding, hollandaisex, imaginarystars, imperfectlynumb, inanna31, jeblue, lavendertattoo, likebatteries, loveistragical, lunchspecial, never_broken, nineveh_rains, pedcandy, shambhalite, sickandtwisted, sweptaway, theperfecthigh, this_isa_lie, thisisnotmylj
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